So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Randomize