Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
