I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
"it" just moved
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
