just tell him i said nine months
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
