K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize