i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
