My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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