I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
