fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize