things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
