nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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