Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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