Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
