Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
