you guys were way drunker than both of me
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
