dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Randomize
