I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
