When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
