my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize