So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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