Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
