Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
