I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
