Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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