areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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