You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Fuck appropriateness.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
