yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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