I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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