I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
