I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
