I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Randomize
