How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
