halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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