its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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