Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
