I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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