we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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