xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
did you just send me my own nude
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
