from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize