we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
