this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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