Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
