i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
