what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Ketchup is God's man juice
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
