The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
