Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
