Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
