How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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