just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
whose parrot is this?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
