I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
