matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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