I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
