the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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