i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
