Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Can Purell be used as lube?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
